


My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark

by italian_nico



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Depression, Major character death - Freeform, Self Harm, Songfic, Suicide, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 22:23:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6725830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/italian_nico/pseuds/italian_nico
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic<br/>Pete is free now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING - Please read at your own risk

Well the writers keep writing what they write.

Pete was sitting at his desk, writing the hardest thing he’s ever had to write. He’d been in the same spot for the last eight hours. He feels millions of pin pricks on his palms, as if there were needles pushing outward from inside of his hands. Everytime he closes his eyes, his heartbeat speeds up dramatically. The lights are swirling around the room, making him dizzy. Streaks of incandescent light spiraling around his body, burning him from the inside out. The air seems unusually thick, burning his lungs every time he takes a shaky breath. He can feel the gravity pulling him down, down towards the fiery center of the earth. His mind is shrouded in a mist of pain. Death is pulling him closer with every word he writes, with every apology he etches onto the lines of the paper.

Somewhere another pretty vein just dies.

Almost as if in slow motion, he signs his name at the bottom of the page. He stands up, fighting the gravity pulling him down. Each step is like lifting hundreds of pounds, burning his muscles, a burden on his spine. Once he reaches his bed, he opens up his nightstands drawer, steadying himself, and proceeds to reach for his key. He takes the key and bumps it against the lock. It takes him a few minutes to insert it into the lock correctly. He twists the key to the right, his heart cringing at the shrieking sound the box makes as he opens it, protesting against his actions. 

I’ve got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see that you’re the antidote to everything except for me.

Pete pulled out his precious piece of metal. He closed his eyes for a moment and felt his heart fighting to jump out of his chest. His hands still had a prickling sensation. He could hear Andy’s voice mixed with all of the other voices shouting inside of his head, but he pushed it away. Andy couldn’t save him this time. Andy had always been there for him, protected him from the world. But Andy was dating Joe now. He wouldn’t save Pete this time.

A constellation of tears on your lashes. Burn everything you love then burn the ashes.

Pete only realized he was crying when a teardrop landed on his hand. He started to sob. He realized how pathetic he really is. He can’t go a day without having a breakdown, and really, what does he have to be upset about. He has everything he could wish for. Except for happiness. He had ruined everything he ever had, every relationship, like it had all burned in a fire. But they came back for him, and all he did was burn them again. He had burned their ashes, and now they would never come back. They would never love him again. 

In the end everything collides. My childhood spat back out the monster that you see. 

With every thought of his old friends, it was like adding another car to the wreck, pushing him closer, inch by inch, to the edge of the cliff. He was so close. He could feel the freedom of death, mere inches in front of him. He just needed to get there. He was a monster. He is a monster. He took the sharp metal and placed it on his upturned wrist, just feeling the cool metal touch his wrist. He couldn’t see the bottom of the pit, but he was so close. He pressed to blade harder, but then pulled it back. He placed it vertically on the visible vein running up his arm. He ran his finger up and down the vein. He pushed the blade down. Rip. He slowly opened his eyes to look down at his arm, pain overtaking his senses. His arm was gaping open, you could see the inside of his arm, fat bubbling up with the blood and pouring out of his arm. The pain became peace, there was no worry left in him. He laid his head back, and it was over. Pete looked back at his dying body as he rose above it, and smiled. He was free.


End file.
